| Quotes & Quips
Compiled By Jack Nichols
Undercover Entrapment Cops
You can figure out who they are. Hint #1: the hunk cruising you is completely out of your league. Hint #2: the stud cruising you doesn't grasp the subtleties of the game. Hint #3: the hunk cruising you suggests something that sounds dangerous or out-of-character for the park in question. Hint #4: the stud cruising you keeps at it well after you've realized something is not right and spurned him.
Rex Wockner—The Wockner Wire #100--www.planetout.com/wocknerwire/
High Court & Sodomy in America's Banana Republic
Louisiana is a world apart from the rest of America—even from the South that we all know is—in and of itself—quite unique. Louisiana has all the trappings of a Banana Republic: extreme corruption; colorful and ruthless politicians; miles and miles of swamp/bayou and wetlands; extremes of wealth and poverty; the second highest crime rate in the country---and, exotic, seedy, lively New Orleans—a city of ultimate doom.
Its been conjectured that the Louisiana crime rate is so high because of the brutality of the sugar cane brand of slavery, and that Louisiana is still under the tyranny of this particularly harsh brand of servitude.
Willis Bivins—Louisiana tour guide-- in a Letter to GayToday, July 7
The Elite Group
As one of my sorority sisters and also one of the greatest former Miss Floridas—Tiffany Ariegus said, 'Once a Miss Florida…always a Miss Florida.' I will forever hold the title near and dear to my heart. To me it is a great honor to be recognized as part of the elite group of female impersonators of the nation.
Danielle Hunter—Miss Florida 1999-2000—“A Barbie Doll's Dream Come True”—Encounter, June 21
A Gift from Momma
An Ohio woman who ordered a skateboarding magazine as a gift for her 15-year-old son instead received Hustler's Taboo magazine. Apparently Taboo and Big Brother Skateboarding are both published by Larry Flint. An employee screwed up the subscription list and everyone who was expecting the skateboarding mag got to see some skin. The employee has since been fired.
TLW Magazine, July 7
Royal Flasher Loose in London?
The buzz in London is about the existence of a certain videotape capturing a certain crown prince “snogging” with a lovely, somewhat older British deb. The footage, caught on surveillance camera, stems from a tryst somewhere in public following a London gala. What does it show? While the tape is reportedly not of the best quality, I'm told that Will's willy (otherwise known as the 'royal nether regions') is in full view. Jolly good!
Gossip by Billy Masters—“Prince William Exhibits the Royal Jewels”— Watermark, July 6
Black & Openly Gay in West Virginia
She says she wants the battered and broken body of her oldest son to be shown in an open casket at his funeral Saturday.
"We want people to see what they did to my son," Brenda Warren says.
What they did to J.R. Warren, 26, was repeatedly punch and kick him in the early morning hours Tuesday at a nearby house, according to police. They then loaded him either unconscious or dead into the trunk of a Chevy Camaro, authorities said, and drove about a mile away. Police said they then dumped his body on the side of the road, and ran him over with the car not once, but several times.
Todd C. Frankel –“Nobody's Child Deserved This”-- Charleston Daily Mail [West Virginia]--July 7
Depraved Sissies on Steroids
These sweaty men in tight women's underwear who can't keep their hands off each other may be fooling the unsaved world, but they're not fooling Jesus. For nearly 50 years, Satan and The World Wrestling Federation have been conditioning the human race to think nothing of a ringside seat to gawk at perversion. Before lustful, screaming fans, depraved sissies on steroids flirt with each other, taunt each other, play hard to get, and ultimately allow themselves to be touched in places unthinkable to Christian men.
Private Investigators Report: “WWF—Hotbed of Latent Homosexuality”—Landover Baptist Church, www.landoverbaptist.org
Wise Words on Safe Sex
I used to get thrown out of epidemiological meetings in the 80s because the numbers were going up and officials didn't want to get that information out. Now I'm lucky enough to be alive to see a decline, and I want to say, 'We've practiced safe sex and got the numbers down. Let's keep them down.'
Michael Petrelis—quoted in Etcetera magazine, Atlanta, July 7
The Mayor's fondness for doing impersonations of gangsters may be other than just a rather tired joke. In an article from a forthcoming book about Giuliani by Village Voice columnist Wayne Barrett, reported on in the 7/4/2000 NY Times, Post, Newsday, and the Associated Press, it is revealed that the Mayor's father confessed to and was convicted of armed robbery in 1934 and did time in Sing Sing, an upstate New York penitentiary. The article goes on to describe how the senior Giuliani later worked as a low-level enforcer for a mob-connected loan shark, enthusiastically beating those who were delinquent in forking over their money with a baseball bat.
Robert Lederman—"Don Rudy"—The Greenwich Village Gazette, July 7 www.nycny.com
Before Taking that Step
Any decision you make about drug use or sex, just take a second to think before taking action because life is such an important journey and to waste it by irresponsibility is not worth it. No one is indestructible. You never know when it will happen to you. I know it is easier said than done, but people need to take time to think before they make decisions.
Denny Kirkwood—interviewed by Roby Comer in A&U magazine, July issue